Why Every Parent Needs to Understand Basic Emotion Theory – Empower Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence!
Understanding the origins and development of emotions in children can be a puzzle! Basic Emotion Theory states that we come into the world pre-wired to feel certain universal emotions—these are instinctual and often intense, automatic responses to external stimuli, experienced even before we've fully developed cognitively. These foundational feelings are known as Primary or Adaptive emotions, and typically include:
Joy
Surprise
Disgust
Anger
Sadness
Fear
The complexity of emotions is so vast that even leading psychologists and scientists find it challenging to fully understand their depth and reasoning. Considering this, it's easier to appreciate the emotional whirlwind children face as their feelings evolve and deepen. Although it's a light-hearted observation, it genuinely broadens our empathy towards children navigating intense emotions, whether they're challenging or uplifting.
Children's Uninhibited Emotional Expression
Children have a remarkable capacity for accessing and expressing genuine emotional states without inhibition. Imagine retaining that ability into adulthood—experiencing a pure, intense emotion, expressing and processing it, and emerging clearer on the other side. Unfortunately, many adults were never taught how to identify or manage their emotions effectively. Instead, they learned to repress, deny, and ignore their feelings, which can lead to secondary emotions like anxiety and depression.
The Impact of Cultural Norms on Emotional Development
Secondary or Reactive emotions are those that develop based on our primary emotions. For instance, consider John, a 32-year-old who, as a child, was a natural at riding a bike. At four years old, the joy he felt zooming down a hill was palpable. However, a surprise accident that led to a painful fall provoked feelings of fear and sadness. When he expressed these feelings, he was told by adults to stop crying—that boys are tough and should not display such emotions.
Shifting Perspectives on Emotional Expression
This societal stance on emotional expression is slowly changing, thankfully, as we move towards a more understanding and less gender-prescriptive culture. However, the impact of such early lessons can be profound. For John, feeling sadness wasn't just an emotional experience; it was intertwined with cultural messages about strength and masculinity, transforming his natural sadness into shame—a secondary, cognitive emotion developed in response to the primary one, shaped by cultural norms and personal interpretation.
This example illustrates how a layered, secondary emotion like shame can evolve from a primary emotion like sadness when filtered through societal beliefs. Instead of processing his initial feelings, John learned to internalize his emotions, leading to anxiety. This highlights the importance of teaching children—and reminding adults—that it's healthy and natural to experience and express the full spectrum of emotions.
The Importance of Embracing All Emotions
By embracing this approach, we can help foster a generation that is more emotionally intelligent, resilient, and capable of handling life's challenges with clarity and understanding. In doing so, we not only support the emotional well-being of our children but also contribute to a healthier, more emotionally aware society.
At Brain to Belly Kids Yoga we cultivate a space where we support kids being kids in their fullest expression. Join us for Family Yoga where we celebrate play, mindfulness, and create space for understanding our emotions and learn fun tools and techniques to experience and express them safely!